For the past couple of days I've been watching my mother look after my 1 month baby cousin. Till this day I do not know how to put to words what I experienced. The baby that was in my mothers care belonged to her sister, it wasn't even hers. But the love and care she gave that baby you could not even tell. I would watch my mother wake up every 30 minutes to the baby crying and shouting. Not once did she mutter words of irritation, it would always be that same beautiful smile. It would be 4 AM in the morning, but that seems to slip her mind when that baby is cuddled up in her arms. It was as if she had this sixth sense. She would know when it's hungry, when it needs changing or when it needs to sleep. She told him stories, she sang to him, she put her life on hold JUST FOR HIM. If this is how she was with her nephew I can't even begin to imagine how she must have been with me. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes.
The guilt that I feel is something I find so hard to explain. It just makes me think about the times I have wronged her, the times I have made her upset. This is a woman that has given everything so that I could have everything. What gave us the right to lose patience with our mothers when they wouldn't once, even if our crying would drive them to the roof. What gave us the right to mutter words of annoyance when all they would mutter would be words of affection. What gave us the right to speak so harshly to them when in fact it was them who taught us to speak. The love our mothers have for us is something we as children will never understand. They were there when we took our first step, they were there when we would wake up crying because we had a bad dream. They where there when we came home from a bad day and all we needed was a hug. Our mothers were there through the good times and through the bad, but sometimes we just seem to forget this. But they don't, not even once.
A man came to the Messenger of Allah (SAW) and said: “O Messenger of Allah, who is most deserving of my kind treatment?” He replied:
“Your mother.”
The man asked: “Then who?” He replied:
“Your mother.”
The man asked again: “Then who?” He replied:
“Your mother.”
The man asked again: “Then who?” He replied:
“Your father.” (sahih Muslim)
Never have I ever been able to understand a Hadith the way that I was able to understand this one. Our mothers are living keys to Jannah for paradise lies under their feet, but why do we ignore this? We find it so easy to neglect them, to not pay attention to them, to not even notice them. For some of us we come home from our long days, we do not even have the dignity to ask how her day went. For all you know she may have spent her day really worried about your whereabouts, but to us its just unnecessary stress. We are so consumed with growing up and it's hassles we often forget that our mothers are also growing. No one lives forever. One day you may just come home to an empty chair and that's it. Never will we experience that warm homely hug, never will we see that beautiful smile, never will we hear that contagious laugh. Never will inhale that loving scent. THAT IS IT! That is when the regrets start to transpire, that's when we start to rethink our actions, that is when we actually notice our mothers.
If your mother is still alive and healthy do not allow her death to be the day that you actually grant her your attention. Mothers are irreplaceable, once they are gone, they are gone. Please do not wait for her death for that to sink in. Arguments happen, misunderstandings take place, it's normal. Just do not make this an excuse for your to distance or even abandon your mother. For those of you who think they do not understand, trust me they do. I have experienced this first hand. Whatever it is, just let it all out. Remember your mother loves you and whatever it is, her love for you will never change, not even an inch. Yes all mother are different, but it's all about communication and understanding one another. Try it, trust me you will never regret it.
Our mothers where the door to this Dunya and can be the door to Jannah, let's not forget this No matter how many times we apologise, no matter how much time we spend with our mother, no matter how many times we tell them we love them, never can we pay them back, not even for a second.
I pray that Allah grants us the guidance to understand the true status of our mothers and give us the ability to serve them with all our might whilst we are alive. May Allah reward their efforts with the best of Jannah.
اللهم أمين
(Mama, if you are reading this I do not know how I could put to words how sorry I am. Sorry for the times I have wronged you. Sorry for the times I've upset you. Sorry for the time I have driven you crazy. I'm just sorry. I love you.❤ )
